Your words are heaven but it hurts, your words are memories but they burn.
I kept a part of you to remind myself your murderer was me.
i'm really tired.-
I REMEMBER :being picked on. being ostracised. still growing. being late on the last 2 days of primary school life. playing volleyball on concrete ground. gambling in class but never got caught. being ugly. hanging out with vivian&co during christmas at orchard road. crashing the void decks at night. getting my braces done. still being ugly. being depressed, suicidal, emotional. having no friends. hating myself.
slitting my wrists. swearing and cussing at random passers-by. walking in the rain alone. watching movies alone. doing everything alone. being close to vivian. missing the english exam in sec 2. writing stories with juma'ah. laughing a lot in class and not paying attention with valery, vivian and brenda. failing history with 49.9. being posted in e1 with brenda.
DDR. junk food parties with lydia. spending lots of money in the arcade. making new friends. going places with the arcade people. understanding gays. kidnapping jeffrey just to DDR. still being ugly. missing spongebob. loving the merlion. 24 december 2007. learning how to kiss. that night. deciding i'll be richer if i stopped frequenting the arcade and i really got richer. opening a blogshop with andrea for fun. being bankrupt.
making some friends in sec 3. being happier. looking a bit more average. blasting loud music into my ears while walking along the streets. byebye&yesterday. failing a.maths forever. staying up late reminiscing about nothing. being stupid. how i hated chinese so much. breaking up with the wrong guy.
the dream i'll never have. how you kissed me on those steps. my sweet mistake. the night i walked away. how i murdered you. how i never turned back. 27 december 2007. living in the fool's masquerade of joy. missing out on Jesus. all of them calling me but i turned them down for something i thought was much better. how stupid i was, and still am.
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